Mistletoe, Champagne and a Suspicious Situation
by accio.awesomeness
Summary: Tired of watching Won-Won and Lav-Lav "thrashing around like a pair of eels", Hermione asks Cormac McLaggen to a Christmas party, intending to slip away when she gets there. This proves tough, and Hermione gets a bit more than she bargained for... Oneshot


**A Cormac X Hermione oneshot written by request for Preetoaka Raven Potter Weasley! Here it is, enjoy! R&R, guys. **

**Disclaimer: Do I even need to say it? *sigh* **

* * *

I watched Ron suck Lavender's face off and couldn't take it any more. Slughorn's party was tonight and I needed two things.

First, I needed some sleep.

And second, I needed a date. Preferably someone who'd piss Ron off. My mind whirred as I considered possible options.

A Slytherin would probably give Ron an aneurysm. But then again, no Slytherin would say yes to a _Mudblood_.

Michael Corner? Despite he and Ginny breaking up, Ron still had a sore spot where Michael was concerned. But no, he was too young. Although taller than me, and quite handsome, there was a part of me that was totally against being seen with anyone younger.

Zacharias Smith, there's a good one! I considered the likelihood of him saying yes and figured the odds were quite positive. For one thing, he had asked me to Hogsmeade in the past, but I had said no. And he would definitely irritate Ron. His snarky comments about Harry combined with his condescending attitude to _everyone_ made Ron convulse.

But then I spotted a familiar, blonde-haired, arrogant twerp across the room. I knew his mind pretty well since I'd Confunded him at Quidditch tryouts, and I hadn't liked what I saw. But on the other hand, I knew he fancied me (I'd heard it from Lavender, who was disappointed that a boy had escaped her net) so he'd definitely give me a yes. Not to mention, Ron absolutely _hated_ him. I tilted my head slightly as I surveyed the tall boy from across the room. Zacharias Smith was better looking… but oh well, whoever annoyed Ron the most.

Just as I was formulating a plan as to how to ask McLaggen out, and how to break the news to Ron in the most evil way possible, there was a slight thump as someone sat down beside me. Ginny fixed me with a calculating look.

"Hermione, you have your I-have-the-keys-to-chaos look on."

I was quite flattered. "I have a look like that?" She rolled her eyes. I took it as a yes and went back to looking at McLaggen. Ginny followed my gaze and suddenly started laughing.

"That is one _ace_ plan, 'Mione!"" she grinned, and I gawped at her.

"I _am_ your best friend," she reminded me. "Best girl friend," she corrected, looking at Harry. I nodded, waiting for her to continue. "I know you're doing it to irritate Ron and I promise you, he _will_ be irritated. But," she warned, "Prepare yourself for a boring evening, McLaggen only talks about himself."

"How do you know?" I asked curiously.

"I _may_ have said yes to a Hogsmeade date once," she admitted, blushing slightly. "Most boring date… ever." I made a face, and she nodded in agreement.

I looked at Ron and Lavender, still all crushed together and back at McLaggen. That was all it took. "Whatever it takes to get back at Ron."

"Excellent." She grinned, rubbing her hands together. "Firstly, how are you going to ask him out? Oh, and, how will you tell Ron?"

"I was thinking of asking McLaggen for a word before dinner. And then I'll casually drop it into the conversation while I'm talking to Parvati or something; she'll be sure to make a fuss and Ron will probably unglue himself from Lavender to get angry."

"Good plan," she approved. "It's almost dinner, though, so you might want to ask him now." I took one last glance at Won-Won and Lav-Lav to steel my nerves and then stood up, hoping my knees weren't shaking. I had never asked a boy out before. Ginny spotted my nervousness and gave me a pat on the back. "Here's a tip," she told me. "When you ask him for a word, and when you ask him out, pretend you're in charge. Tell him to pick you up at eight, _assertively_. For one thing, he'll definitely say yes. And also, it'll make you feel better since you love being in charge."

"Thanks, Gin," I said gratefully. I did my best to don an indifferent expression and then crossed to where McLaggen sat in the centre of a circle of friends.

"Cormac," I said loudly. Their chatter stopped and he turned to me hopefully. "Can I have a word? In private?" His cavemen-esque mates catcalled and wolf-whistled and he stood up with a cocky grin. _Oh, no_. What had I gotten myself into? I took a peek at Ginny as I led McLaggen to a hidden corner and she shot me an encouraging look.

"Cormac, I was wondering…" I began, slightly unsure. "You know Slughorn's Christmas party? I sort of need a date, and I was thinking, who better to take than you?"

His smile turned into a full-blown grin and I almost sighed in relief. One hurdle down, he had agreed. Now came the hard part; actually surviving a whole evening with him.

"I'd love to, Hermione," he said happily, taking my hand and kissed my knuckles. I tried not to laugh at his attempt at gallantry.

"Right, meet me at eight in the common room tonight, all right?"

"I'll be there," he promised. I shuddered at the prospect of the coming party and flashed him a smile as I walked back to Ginny.

"How did it go?"

"Piece of cake," I said, without missing a beat.

"And now to break it to Ron?"

"Yes… how should I do it?"

"Talk to Parvati, slip it into the conversation casually, like 'Cormac's picking me up at eight…'," she instructed. "Oh, and act like a total ditz, giggles and all. It'll be easier for Parvati to swallow, plus it'll sound like you really like the guy."

"Got it," I said decisively. "Thanks, Gin."

"Make me proud!" she called after me as I walked out of the common room.

* * *

"That Katie thing really freaked them out, but as there hasn't been anything since… oh, hi, Hermione!" Parvati said cried happily, beaming at me. I knew she felt guilty for laughing at me in Transfiguration, which was more than I could say for Lavender. I'd always liked the Indian girl more, despite her gossipy ways. I beamed back and almost laughed at Harry's bewildered look.

"Hi, Parvati!" I said brightly, ignoring the couple thrashing around in the seat next to her. "Are you going to Slughorn's party tonight?"

"No invite," she told me despondently. "I'd love to go, though, it sounds like it's going to be really good… you're going, aren't you?" I felt a bit bad for her, but then remembered the torture I was facing for the duration of the evening. I caught Ginny's eye across the table and she nodded. It was time to annoy Ron.

"Yes," I replied, "I'm meeting Cormac at eight and we're going up to the party together," I said smoothly, ignoring the disgusting suctioning sound from a few feet away.

"Cormac? Cormac McLaggen, you mean?" Parvati asked incredulously. Her eyes widened, and I thought I could detect a bit of pity in them. Oh Merlin, was this boy really so bad? I felt a grimace begging to be shown but I smiled sweetly instead.

"That's right," I confirmed. "The one who _almost_ became Gryffindor Keeper."

"Are you going out with him then?" Parvati asked, the look in her eyes making me think she wanted to call the asylum people. I passed it off as an overactive imagination and giggled, the sound feeling very strange in my mouth.

"Oh, yes – didn't you know?" I said innocently. I could see comprehension dawning on Harry's face and I tried not to laugh.

"No!" Parvati said, completely stunned. "Wow, you like your Quidditch players, don't you? First Krum, then McLaggen…" she trailed off. I saw my chance and leapt on it.

"I like _really good_ Quidditch players," I said with a smile. I knew this would hurt Ron, but I couldn't care less. "Well, see you… got to go and get ready for the party…" with a wave and a smile to Harry, I left. As I glanced back, I could see Lavender and Parvati discussing the new circumstance, Harry looking thoughtful and gloomy, and Ron staring blankly into space. _Revenge is sweet.

* * *

_

I saw a head of dark-blonde hair approaching and groaned. _Incoming!_ The whole evening had been spent with McLaggen droning on and on about all his saves and how he could play any spot in Quidditch better than even an international player could. It was beyond me how anyone could be so arrogant. As he tried to corner me under the mistletoe, I spotted Harry and rushed off to say hi. Sadly, after only a few moments of chitchat with Harry, I saw McLaggen's head over the crowd.

"Sorry, Harry, I can see Cormac… got to go…" I trailed off as I ducked under a waiter's outstretched arm and pressed myself into an alcove. McLaggen was talking to Harry and looking around, no doubt wondering where I was. I saw Harry pull at his collar and answer with what he obviously thought was a nonchalant expression. I sighed. The poor kid couldn't lie at all, could he?

Lucky for him, McLaggen was an exceptionally stupid individual. He'd been stalking me for a while now, trying to get me under the mistletoe. I had shot a spell at some of it when I came in and deduced that when two people met under it, neither would be able to move unless they kissed. Hence, the avoidance of mistletoe. McLaggen wasn't bad looking, but I wasn't in the mood for his bragging. Not to mention, I most certainly did _not_ want his lips anywhere near mine.

I slipped into a conversation and realised too late that I'd made a mistake. It would be quite difficult to get out now, considering I was in between Luna Lovegood, Professor Trelawney and a tall, thin person who looked like a vampire. He was quite good-looking, I might even fancy him had he not had the fangs. A group of giggly girls, Romilda Vane in their midst, were shooting him flirtatious looks and giggling.

Romilda was a flirt, going from boy to boy. She had fixed her attentions on Harry for a while, which was unfortunate, but that was not stopping her from chatting up every decent-looking boy at Slughorn's party.

She often slept in the spare bed in our dorm, as she was friends with Lavender. Sluts attract sluts, I suppose.

I grabbed a flute of champagne from a passing waiter and swirled it around before downing it. It went to my head straight away (I had always had low tolerance) and I asked for some water to dilute it. A house elf handed me a glass of it and I sipped it as I watched the festivities. Luna and Trelawney had moved some distance away and were now talking with Slughorn and Harry.

It was then that I noticed the green thing hanging above my head and I quickly moved out from under it, in case someone unsavoury bumped into me.

I spotted Ginny in the corner, talking to Blaise Zabini. Odd conversation partner, considering the opposite houses and the rivalry and whatnot. Grabbing another couple of glasses from a waiter, I sidled over their corner and handed them each a drink.

The way Ginny looked at me was odd; sort of reproachful. But she covered it up so fast that I wondered if I had seen it at all.

"What are you guys chatting about?" I asked lightly. Zabini gave me a suspicious look but took the glass anyway with a nod of thanks.

"Oh… this and that. Lessons, Quidditch," Ginny said, a little too quickly. Zabini didn't say anything, simply shooting me a hostile look. I rolled my eyes, used to Slytherins and their pure-blood bull.

"How are things with Dean, Gin?" her look instantly became worried and I knew I had hit the nail on the head. Things with Dean were bad and she was… what? Hanging around with Zabini for revenge?

"Pretty rough," she admitted. My eyebrows involuntarily lifted in shock; I had expected her to deny that anything was wrong.

"Tell me about it later, all right?" I said, laying a hand on her arm. She looked at me gratefully for not pressing the issue and I smiled, turning to Zabini. The remaining alcohol in my blood stream gave me a boost of confidence.

"So, Zabini," I began, and then spotted a certain tall, blonde person across the room. "Shit, I have to go," I muttered, before darting away. I looked back briefly and saw them staring in confusion, apparently wondering where I'd gone. Not the first people today to wonder that.

I pressed myself into the wall as a group of people went past and took another sip from my glass of water.

It was dark where I stood and McLaggen would have a hard time finding me here. I breathed a small sigh of relief. At least ten minutes of respite. I sank back against the wall, tired from the running and hiding. I took sips of my water every now and then and felt my head beginning to clear.

A Wildfire Whizbang flared up in the corner, and I ducked just in time as it veered towards me. It was in the shape of Father Christmas and probably custom-ordered by Slughorn to make this party a bit more interesting. He floated above the crowd, occasionally saying things like, "Merry Christmas!" or "Ho ho ho!"

A commotion near the door grabbed my attention and I inched a bit further out of my hiding place to see what was going on.

Filch dragged Malfoy in by the collar, insisting that Malfoy had been sneaking around after hours.

"All right, I was gatecrashing, happy?" Malfoy asked with a sneer. Poor child, Filch was _never_ happy.

I watched as Snape took Malfoy by the ear and dragged him out. And then sighed as Harry excused himself and followed them, pulling out a silvery Cloak from his bag as he did so.

Although I still thought Malfoy was a bit young to be a Death Eater, I had to admit that the circumstances were suspicious. However, Harry had bigger things to worry about - for example, the Horcruxes. He was focusing too much on a possible teenage Death Eater.

I tilted my head slightly at the thought of Malfoy. No one could deny that he was a handsome boy, at least after third year, when he'd stopped gelling his hair back. But this year had seen Mr Malfoy at his worst. Huge dark circles, the skin hanging off his frame like the fat underneath had evaporated; even his mockery was slightly abated.

"Hermione, who on earth are you hiding from?" Ginny asked, appearing out of nowhere. I jumped, a bit of water spilling out of the glass I was still holding. I took a last sip and put it on a table in the corner.

"McLaggen," I told Ginny. Her expression cleared and she looked at me reproachfully.

"It's your fault for asking him in the first place, 'Mione. He fancies you so it probably made his day when you asked him."

"Oh, don't be dramatic, Ginny. He agreed to go with me because no other girl asked him. Even though he could have come on his own, he wanted a girl to parade around on his arm," I scoffed, although a little part of me felt guilty at her words. What if it _was_ true?

If it was, then there was a very hurt Cormac McLaggen lurking somewhere nearby.

"And besides – you're the one who told me to! Who approved my plan!"

"Well, yes," she admitted. "But I don't know, 'Mione. Maybe I'm just in a bad mood. Things with Dean are…" she stopped talking, looking upset.

"We'll talk about it later, in privacy and armed with hot chocolate," I promised her with a quick hug. "Come on, let's find Harry." And I pulled her back into the crowd. But just as I spotted Harry, she disappeared and I saw her a ways off, talking to Zabini again. I watched, agape, as he stroked her cheek, but I made a mental note not to ask her about it. She'd tell me if she wanted to.

I made for Harry, intending to ask him what he had overheard when he had followed Malfoy and Snape, but a hand suddenly latched onto my upper arm with almost bruising intensity. I looked up into McLaggen's eyes and almost groaned. _Foiled_.

"There you are, Hermione!" he cried, dragging me into a corner. I sighed, preparing myself for some lying.

"Where have you been?" he asked. "I've been looking for you everywhere!"

"I've just been mingling. I was usually with Harry or Ginny and I spent a bit of time with Luna and Professor Trelawney, too…" I trailed off, pretending I'd noticed someone over his shoulder.

"Right, well. I'm glad I've found you. And… just in time, too," he said, sounding suspiciously happy. I looked at him to see what was he was talking about and he motioned upwards with his chin.

With growing horror, I saw the cursed green sprig above our head and felt my feet stick to the floor. I resisted the temptation to curse, looking at my shoes instead. _Curse Slughorn and his stupid jinxed mistletoe!_ I screamed in my head.

McLaggen tilted my chin up and looked into my eyes for a minute before kissing me softly.

And it wasn't actually as bad as I'd expected. His lips were soft and warm and tasted like strawberries – I'd seen him eating one earlier. I kissed him back without too much enthusiasm, although I did try and make it enjoyable. He pulled back after a few seconds, looking slightly sad.

"Listen, Hermione, I know you asked me to get back at Weasley. And I understand your motives, really. But I won't deny that it was wrong to use me like that." I looked down at my feet again, ashamed. But his hand came up again and forced me to meet his eyes. "You could have asked me to pretend, I would have agreed. Because I really do like you. But," he shrugged, looking up. The mistletoe had moved on, looking for a new pair of victims. "I got my kiss. That's all I need and it's probably all I'll ever get." He kissed my cheek softly and stepped away, heading for the door. "Take care, Hermione," he called over his shoulder. I stood rooted the spot with guilt and a tiny, bubbly feeling in my stomach.

Maybe Cormac McLaggen wasn't such a cocky twat after all.

* * *

**Okay, so what'd you think? I honestly never hated McLaggen that much - expect when he was being a pain on the Quidditch pitch. I think given a chance, Hermione could've toned down the cockiness. :) R&R and you'll get an R&R from me! **


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